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Terms and Conditions

Welcome to my blog,  “Heal Eczema From Insideout”.

This blog is dedicated to providing information to help you heal eczema (dermatitis) and other skin troubles, especially ones at chronic stage. Having an education and keeping the knowledge updated is very powerful so that you can have optimized health as long as you like.

First of all, I am a strong believer of holistic medicine or Bio-regulatory medicine. People sometimes call it an “Alternative medicine”, “Integrative medicine”, “Natural medicine”, etc. But I like to call it “Holistic” or “Bio-regulatory” as I love how it means to our health. While health and healing require our attentions to emotions, physical manifestations, beliefs (what our brain thinks it’s true), and voice of the heart, mechanical part of our body so called the bio-regulation system to achieve homeostatic (wholeness) rebalance and reverse a disease process towards its earlier developmental phases. When everything in harmony, we never struggle with health.

The main role of holistic medicine is to treat our body without any conventional approaches such as over the counter medications or prescription drugs. Instead, this practice honours organic whole foods, medicinal herbs, supplements, and homeopathic tinctures that support natural healing mechanisms in our body.

While conventional medicines such as cortisol cream just “bandage” your symptoms (itch, swell, redness, dryness, pain, discolouration, etc) that are present at the time so you think you no longer have them, the truth is that you just suppressed what your body was trying to tell you, and ask for help.
Symptoms are signs of chemical imbalance and/or toxic overload in the body. In addition, they are psychosomatic most of the time. (I will talk more about psychosomatic later, as it possesses the important part of healing chronic eczema forever.)

Your job is to listen and support the body do its job, not to suppressing it. This includes changing the diet, lifestyle, the way you think (your belief system), and eliminating toxins physically and emotionally. Adding herbals and nutritional supplements in your daily regime is absolutely necessary. Our body is so complex that there isn’t the only “one” reason that your health has gone down this far (chronic). There must have been several signs that you ignored. In order to win back your health from chronic stage, you need to approach with the proper support that suits the moment you are in. You may need just dietary changes or add one supplement to heal completely. But from my experience, people at chronic stage need the whole “support package”.

My job here is to share my healing journey to prove you that you can have the healthiest skin ever again like I did. I had so many ups and downs (mostly downs to be honest) since 2011. But I promised myself I would finish what I have started….. to heal eczema.
Well, here I am, in spring 2016, my chapter of healing from eczema is coming to an end. And yet, I am about to start my new chapter to heal the world. I want to be there for you, when you feel upset, frustrated, sad, disappointed, or other negative emotions, especially depression caused by eczema like I was desperate to find someone like me. I hope my words and information on this blog can encourage you to keep moving forward with your health until you have it. Though, God only knows how long individuals could take to have what they want to have. It took 5 years for me to finally feel comfortable showing my skin. Sure, I frankly wanted it to happen a lot sooner but really… I am grateful for my journey. And I wish you to feel the same one day…

 

And here is something I want you to remember.

♥ Everything happens for a reason.
♥ Universe challenges you at every chance it gets.
♥ Body knows how to heal. Let it do its job by supporting it.
♥ Nature heals us.
♥ Healing direction is from the inside out and from head to toe.
♥ Healing has already started at the moment you believe it in your heart.
♥ Healing requires self-love and patience.

 

Happy Healing~

 

Say Bye-Bye to Teflon pans!

Make Choices

 

Nonstick cookware is made with highly reactive toxic chemicals that can turn to toxic gas when overheated. As those toxins are linked to numerous health problems, including thyroid dysfunction, weakened immune function, liver inflammation, elevated cholesterol, etc., it’s very important for you to choose safer cookware to reduce the risk of inhaling toxic particles especially, when you are healing from health challenges.

What you should know about non-stick?

Non-stick surfaces are metal pans such as aluminum coated with a synthetic polymer called polytetrafluoroetheylene (PTFE) and chemical “family”(PFCs), also known as Teflon.

Toxic gases from the Teflon chemical released from pots and pans at high temperatures may cause people to develop flu-like symptoms (called “Teflon Flu” or, as scientists describe it, “Polymer fume fever”). The long-term effects of regular exposure to Teflon gases hasn’t be adequately studied. Interestingly, ingesting particles that flake off scratched non-stick cookware isn’t toxic because solid PTFE flakes are inert.

Manufacturers’ labels often warn consumers to avoid high heat when cooking on Teflon. But Environmental Working Group-commissioned tests conducted in 2003 showed that in just two to five minutes on a conventional stove top, cookware coated with Teflon and other non-stick surfaces could exceed temperatures at which the coating breaks apart and emits toxic particles and gases.

There are also environmental hazards of Teflon besides its impact on health danger. Manufacturing PFCs and the products that contain them pose great risks to the environment and wildlife. According to The American Environmental Protection Agency (EPA), PFCs exhibit “Persistence, bioaccumulation, and toxicity properties to an extraordinary degree.”

Safer cookwear options?

While we see a growing number of new cookware options on the market, it is overwhelming and hard to know which ones are safe. Especially, when they’re advertised as “Seen on TV” “Green” or “Not non-stick.” Environmental Working Group recommends cast iron and stainless steel cookware as safer options for stove-top cooking, and oven-safe glass for baking. Although these safer pans have a reputation of being hard to care for, they are very low maintenance. You can get the same convenience and possibly improve your health rather than worsening it.

Cast Iron

Cast iron is incredibly durable, and can be expected to last for lifetime. It simply needs to be scrubbed clean with just water after each use, then dried completely and given a very light coating of oil (butter, coconut oil, etc). A well seasoned cast-iron is naturally nonstick, and becomes more so over time. The oil used in cooking forms a tight seal from scratches.

Because of its thickness, cast iron cookware distributes heat more evenly, and can be used to give much more flavour and textures, and the increased amount of iron in your food. It can also be used in the oven.

What to do with non-stick if you are stuck with it?

  • As empty pans can rapidly reach high temperatures, never preheat nonstick cookware. Heat at the lowest temperature possible to cook your food safely.
  • If cooking with nonstick cookware in an oven, the temperature should be lower than 500 degrees.
  • Use the fan over the stove.
  • Skip the self-cleaning function on your oven with nonstick interior parts. It cleans by heating up to high temperatures, which can release toxic fumes.
  • Be mindful when buying a new cookware.

Other ways we are exposed to PFCs and how to avoid them?

It’s time to look into homewares that we used daily basis. They could possibly be the reason of your health challenges.

 

Source: www. ewg.org

Do you blame on genetics?

Healing Procedure, Spirit for Healing

 

The word genetics is mentioned a lot from people, especially who faced health challenges at some point in their life – allergies, hay fever, candida, etc. In fact, almost every health problem is commonly blamed on genetics. My parents also believed eczema, allergies, and asthma that were running in the family were brought by genetics.

We pollute the water we drink, the food we eat, the air we breathe with industrial and nuclear wastes and when we get ill we blame it all on genetics. We deplete our soils of minerals and other nutrients and replace them with pesticides, organophosphates, weedkillers and lots of other chemicals, we grow our crops on these soils, we eat these crops, we get ill and blame it all on genetics. We damage our children’s immune systems with vaccinations and antibiotics and blame it all on genetics. we regularly consume processed foods with virtually no nourishment for the body that are full of chemicals and detrimental to health, and when we get ill we blame it all on genetics. We regularly intoxicate ourselves with alcohol, tobacco and drugs and when we get ill we blame it all on genetics.(1)

How about all the epidemics of cancer, heart disease, diabetes, depression, anxiety, learning disabilities, autoimmune disorders, obesity, etc.? These are all conditions starting at young age which doctors very rarely encountered a hundred years ago. Have our genetics gotten very poor so quickly to cause those degenerative diseases?

Genetics are a very convenient excuse. It is something we are born with, I would call them some strengths and weaknesses of our constitution. Therefore, there is nothing we can do about it at the moment. If we were born with weaknesses in kidneys, we have potential to have problems in kidneys genetically. If we have strengths in processing alcohol, we may be able to drink more than people who don’t. But does this mean we have no responsibility for our food that we eat, environment or lifestyles? Can we conveniently blame our state of health on our genetics?

As with the rapidly increasing numbers of modern epidemic sufferers, there is a genetic predisposition to the disorder rather than a genetic cause. That said, there has to have certain environmental conditions before any predisposition materializes into a disease. Diet is a major part of this environmental conditioning as our diet profoundly influences on gene expression, in other words what we eat could change our genetics throughout our lives. By changing the environment (diet, lifestyle, pollution, stress, infections, etc.), we can make sure that whatever genetic predisposition we may have, this predisposition won’t develop into a disease. And at the same time we can alter gene expression with the correct diet which will indirectly improve our genetics.

We don’t need to have the same disease that our family members have. We may have the predisposition, weaknesses, or genes that had expressed as symptoms. But it’s completely up to us whether we want to struggle with it or not. When we wisely choose what we eat, the way we live, and healthy relationships with others, we are not only healing ourselves but the future generations.

**Here I am not talking about clearly identified genetic conditions like haemophilia and many others where specific faulty genes have been discovered. They are not the main concern as what I wanted to discuss here was the epidemics that are becoming the real problem in the modern world.

 

(1) GAPS™ Gut and Psychology Syndrome Dr. Natasha Campbell-Mcbride MD

 

 

How bad you want your health back?

Make Choices, Spirit for Healing

 

Among those who came to see me for their health conditions, I would say probably less than 20 % was ready to make their lifestyle and dietary changes. And I’m not complaining nor trying to change them.

Their priority is the main reason. I would say they are not ready to make changes because of it.

I was lucky enough to have been able to say, “Sorry, I have to be alone for my healing. I can’t see you while I am going through ups and downs. I really need to be focusing on myself.”, when I was just about to enter the most difficult time for healing. I knew my priority. I knew what was the most important matter for me to focus. So I chose me over a very loving man. He understood and gave me a huge respect for my decision. He understood how bad I wanted to heal. He understood how painful it was for me to see him with the red scaly inflamed itchy skin all over my body.

But not a lot of people can make a decision like I did. Some are in a long relationship so that they are living together for many years. Some have the family members who don’t understand holistic healing arts what so ever. Some are too scared to change diet which they grew up on. Even though they are super inspired by healing their conditions without medications but with diet, the nutritions.

I had a Japanese client who was married to a man who never had an interest in healthy eating. But she sought for my professional advice for her allergies. I have suggested the food combining to begin with and all other things. First thing that she worried was her husband. She asked me how she could convince him to understand what she was just about to do. And her second concern was her social life, eating out with her friends.

Well, first of all. We have to explain the reason profoundly why you will be changing how you eat if you are doing the food combining, for example. Give them the reason or two in order for them to understand how badly you want your health back. And most of people who love you, who care for you your health, they will understand you and be supportive for your decision.

I have to say, however, some people say things oppose to your decision because they don’t want you to get what you want. Simply, this could be because they are jealous of you who are strong enough to try to achieve your goal. Or in some cases, especially your parents, they worry no matter what.

One of my mentors once told us about his client. He was obese and had multiple disorders but his background was Italian. He grew up in a family eats greasy pasta, pizza, and other cheesy food. But since he started working with my mentor, he lost 45 lbs (which was still normal weight range) and some symptoms disappeared after couple of months. When his parents saw him leaner, they said that he was too skinny!

Family and friends are the most challenging people that you may have to convince. But if you try to take time to explain sincerely with passion, they will for sure understand you and support you. I believe this will happen to your spouse and children. More over, they could benefit from the dietary change you make!

Social life could be one of obstacles to make changes in your life. But I think it is totally up to you. I would certainly suggest to prepare your own food as much as you could in order to avoid additives, potential toxins, and excess sugar. And if you are 100% committed to your healing, you will do so. However, I understand it will be very difficult to cut every single social gathering all together. If you can have some snack before the gathering at home, you may not need to eat at the party. Whether your food is randomly prepared or made to order, be wise to choose what you eat. Social life with people who aren’t eating as strict as you are could be hard at the beginning but I found it will become easier once you familiarize yourself what/what not to eat or the proper food combining. It doesn’t matter whether people around you know your dietary restrictions or not.

Once your digestion, conditions, or symptoms get better, you should be able to eat without restrictions. For some, they may have the weaknesses in the system so that they won’t be able to eat like before. They have to stick to the certain protocol. Some prefer to stay with the protocol because it feels good.

When conditions and symptoms disappear, we tend to go back to an old habit. Because the pain, discomfort, and all other challenges with the conditions we had will disappear too. And we forget how it was like. But we have to remember what brought you the health challenges in the first place. If we keep doing the same thing dragged you down to the point you had to struggle for your health, it will get us again.

If your body fails you, where will you live?

Food Combining

Healing Procedure

 

Healing requires the good digestive system. The way you eat food is as important as what you are eating, because we want to support our body to digest food. And not to mention, nutritions that our body absorbs are what’s important.

Our body isn’t like a garburator. It’s not like your job is to eat something and our body will do the rest. If you don’t take care of it, it will eventually break and stop functioning.

A lot people aren’t really aware this fact that metabolic syndrome (high blood pressure, high blood sugar, excess fat) starts from maldigestion and malabsorption besides too much carbohydrates (“sugar”). Our body needs to absorb minerals and vitamins from food that we eat. In order to do this efficiently, it needs to digest food properly.

How?

When I talk about improving digestion, my first option to suggest is “Food Combining”. It is also easier for people to follow. When we search food combining online, there are so many types of it will show up. For example, some are based on “acid” and “alkaline” and some follow much complicated version of it.

What exactly am I suggesting?

Very simple.

Carbohydrates + Green leafy vegetables

Proteins + Green leafy vegetables

Fruits by themselves

Food Combining Chart3

The chart above is a bit more detailed. Carbohydrates are meaning of starchy vegetables (potatoes, etc), rice, bread, pasta, and any products made out of those. Proteins are meaning of any nuts, beans, eggs and meats. I generally suggest to eliminate all the processed food, even though they are “organic”, “gluten-free” or any other supposedly “Natural” and “Healthy” processed foods.

This may sound still super difficult to follow if you are a “beginner” of healthy eating for the better digestion or so used to eat rice and fish/meats or beans and/or bread and eggs, ham or sausages. Sometimes, you may get sandwiches or lunch boxes come with those combination. And that’s the only choice you have at the time while it could be just for your convenience.

Well, then. Maybe start from one meal? Three meals could be hard to start. I would rather you to stick to one change that you make for a long time. Try one meal of food combining for a month?

Why not carbs and proteins?

Carbohydrates (except for fruits) take only 20-30 mins to get digested. They don’t require stomach acid, therefore they won’t stay in the stomach as long as the protein foods do. Protein foods require stomach acid for digestion and they take 2-6 hours (or more. Depends.) to be digested.

When we eat those carbs and proteins at the same time, carbs which supposed to pass the stomach quickly stay in the stomach with proteins for a long time. And they start being fermented and then eventually feed bad bacteria. They cause gas and bloating. More over, when this happens in the stomach, the rest of the organs that secrete digestive enzymes and juices won’t do their job. As a result, undigested foods will enter the small intestine causes problems such as the excess immune response (allergies and other inflammation), IBS, leaky gut, etc.

Also, when our digestive system struggles, the organs (especially liver) have to work so hard to digest food for hours rather spending some time to clean the body from toxins and by products of the natural body metabolism. This will cause organ damages, hormonal imbalances, and so forth.

In my opinion, it is much easier to follow the food combining when you avoid the pre-made food and processed foods all together as they often have carbs and proteins.

Still not convinced?

Someone told me a while ago that she still thought doing the food combining for one meal a day was difficult for her to do after I explained why it was so important to help digestion.

Well.

How bad you want to get better? How bad you want to reverse your conditions? 

You don’t need to stick to this forever! The purpose of the food combining is to improve your digestive system. Once it gets better, you feel much better eating rice and beans without gas or bloating! 

Allergies too. I tell people that they don’t need to avoid certain foods once their gut has healed. Because the gut is the root cause of allergies! In order to heal the gut, we need good digestion and nutrients from it.

 

You have all sort of symptoms and are struggling with digestion. And still don’t think you could make a little change, then you are not ready. It means that it’s not the time. When the timing is right, and you are ready for it, the will happen.

I was the same back then.

 

Are supplements necessary?

Healing Procedure

 

When I started my healing and cleansing protocol which I had to become an expert on my own, I wasn’t a supplement person. I had never taken pills (common cold pills, birth control pills, nor any medications!) before. I wasn’t feeling very convinced to take any until I started getting flare ups from my very first detox program.

I bought probiotic and fish oil (high in EPA). Those bottles cost more than $100 together. And the more I learnt about supplements in school, the more I become obsessed with new supplements I thought I should try to help heal.

I bought so many kinds of supplement I thought they would help me including homeopathic remedies. I was lucky or not, worked in the health food store where I had opportunities to take educational courses from supplement companies then. So wherever I hear about products that could help heal the skin then I had to try.

The truth is… I still have so many bottles, whether they are already open or not, in my drawer from years ago (2013~). Some of them looked very stale I had to get rid of them after a couple of years.

I have done many trials and errors along the way. It cost me a fortune to buy all those supplements. But I was 100% committed to get better. I economized on clothes and entertainments. I had rather spend all of my earnings on organic groceries and supplements. So I did.

While I was working in the health food store, almost 90% of the people needed help to find the supplements for their health conditions, they never asked me how to eat, what foods are nutritious. This is very tricky because people nowadays are more into “natural” healing instead of medications. But still, they want a “quick fix” which they refer to supplements, the pills. And that won’t give them what they want.

I wanted to become a nutritionist because I believe in nutritions that help heal us. Our health goes downhill when our diet doesn’t feed our body and/or too much toxicity the our body can’t get out of our system because of malnutrition. Our body needs vitamins, minerals, and fat (cholesterol) for enzymatic activities and regeneration.

The GAPs diet recommends minimal of supplements. And I strongly agree with it. It is super time consuming and hard to find the best quality supplements. When I talk about supplements, I’m not talking about supplements you get from Costco or dollar stores. They won’t do any good rather do harm to your body.

Because it was my responsibility to recommend the best quality supplements to customers in the store, I did a lot of research on supplement companies and talked to rep which I was very careful that I wouldn’t be biased by their information. I spent a lot of my own time to research the additives and such. And this helped me to pick supplements for myself too.

If you were to decide to take supplements, please do your own research. Call the company to know how they manufacture their products, the source of the products (a lot of vitamins are made out of corn. Ask them where it’s coming from), and safety (heavy metal contamination, etc). Companies want to show you the studies and researches done, either by their own company or general information from studies done by pharmaceuticals, that their products are effective to certain health conditions. And that’s very appealing. But what’s important is your body assimilates the nutrients from the supplement without any harm.

While I don’t completely disagree to take supplements, there are risks of what you may be getting into your body unless you know how and where they are coming from.

It is like going out for food. You don’t know what could be in the food you were about to eat unless you make it yourself.

I have become a practitioner educates my clients how to get nutrients from real foods. I still suggest some supplements such as probiotic, fish/cod liver oil, chlorella, and some liver herbs. But nutrients are more bioavailable for our body when they are coming from the right source. Supplements are nutrients that are isolated mostly from corn. Those isolated forms won’t be recognized by the body as easy as food in order to be assimilated. If nutrients from supplements weren’t absorbed by the body, it will be excreted as urine.

I think spending your precious money on organic local foods makes more sense than wasting it to make expensive urine.

 

Organic Local Farmers

My root. My mother.

Where did I come from?

Family .. my root

I was born as a second child and a first baby girl for my parents. I was diagnosed with atopic dermatitis as a baby. My mom apparently tried to breastfeed me but I refused to drink it so she decided to feel me with bottled milk. (!!! Who knew that was my own choice!!!)

***When babies are not drinking the breastmilk, there may be something that baby’s body doesn’t agree with in the breastmilk. This highly depends on what the mother is eating.***  => Related post

My brother, three years older than me, had both eczema and asthma. He often had the asthma attack as a child so that made him difficult to go to school.  I, on the other hand, grew up with multiple infections. My parents were busy going back and forth between home and a hospital for us while we were little.

Luckily, my mom was against medications as much as possible. She tried to find a solution for us to heal from what we had. She once heard that there were very spiritual healing water in the next province so we drove like two hours to get the water to drink. When she found a Chinese practitioner in our community, my brother started regular acupuncture sessions with him for his asthma and I had the medicinal liquid to put on my skin.

Despite of her effort, nothing seemed helping, especially for my condition. She must have been devastated when she saw me scratching every night, and getting futon sheets stained by my blood all over.

We tried wrapping up my wrists, arms, legs, and neck with handkerchiefs to protect from scratching. But it was the time she could no longer stand looking at me like this. She decided to take me to a hospital for help. I was prescribed with some hydrocortisone cream. The doctor mentioned there were side effects such as thinning the skin. I used it under my mom’s supervision. That was her to put it on me before bed time.

When I was around 8, I started noticing emotions like shame and jealousy. It was very embarrassing to have the skin disorder, the different look and thickness on my skin. So I started using the cortisone cream everyday like a moisturizer, didn’t matter whether I had rash or not. It also didn’t matter if my mom knew about it or not.

Interestingly, my mom never thought of the fact that food could have been affecting the symptoms. Because there was a belief that this was genetic.

Mother to me is..

My mom was born to parents with asthma. So it was natural for her to think that her children would happen to have the same disorder as the family. The answer was “it’s because genetic.”

Because she was the seventh child among seven daughters in her family, her parents were a bit older when she was born. For this reason, I didn’t have much time to get to know them either. My grandma passed away when I was 4 or 5. And grandpa passed away about 4 years after her.

My family had a regular visit every Sunday as they didn’t have a son, and all seven daughters left home.  They were living alone.

In traditional families back then, boys looked after their parents as it was normal that two or more generations live in the same house. But this didn’t happen for my grandparents so my parents decided to visit every Sunday to look after.

After both of my grandparents passed away, we were still visiting the house as we had the grave yard for our ancestors and the altar in the house. I enjoyed putting some flower and incense, and read the sutras for them as a little girl. This came all natural even though my family isn’t seriously religious. I understand this as a part of my family’s tradition because my mom was doing it as far as I remember.

While visiting grandparents’, my brother and I played in the nature. We helped our mom growing vegetables and fruits (cabbage, cucumber, tomatoes, corn, sweet potatoes, squash, watermelon, apples, pears, lots kind of greens, etc), swam in the pond, picked mushrooms and chestnuts, petted pigs, and enjoyed echoes when we sang loud in the mountains.

She still tells me growing vegetables and fruits is her best interest of all time and that have been making her happy no matter what.

Mother as mother and father

When I was around 9, she asked me if I was okay if she started working a part time job. I said “Yes!”. This was because I thought I could have my own house key to come home! Back then, it was sort of a fashion for kids to have their house keys (called “Kagikko”) as their parents were still at work when their kids were coming home. I wanted the same!

But she actually worked at night in the newspaper delivery office. She would make dinner, have some nap and leave for work around 2am. She sometimes had to leave around 10pm when there were a lot to do. When I wake up and get ready for school, she is sleeping after coming home around 4am.

I didn’t really tell her how I felt about her not at home at night. But when she left for work early at night, I was still awake and watching TV alone. I remember I was feeling super lonely even what I was watching was the comedy show.

She had to take over a role of my dad, when he got transferred to the different branch, when I was around 11. They first asked me whether we want to move with him or stay. I was still 11 but I knew the family should be together. But one day, when I came home from school, my mom told me that dad was gone.

Since, she had become the mother and the father in the family, especially for me and my brother. And she probably hoped that we three become ever closer, because it was for us, kids. They thought that it was better for us to learn in the same school, same friends, and the same community.

I had never understood what they chose for us. I hated the fact that my family had to live separately. I went rebel soon after. I really didn’t talk to my family about myself, about school, about my friends… nothing. And that’s about when I started developing more health challenges.

 

Read more…

Mother’s role and My health

Stages to become a whole ~ my second step~

Spirit for Healing

 

I was almost running away from the past or the reality. I had all my friends who knew me with a normal skin. I was scared when they see my skin all red and patchy, they would judge me and say “Are you okay?”. It was true that I needed some change. I needed to change the social life as I think I wasn’t over the relationship I had previous years.

Anyway, I got on a plane on January first in 2012. I moved to Toronto, ON. In a new place, there are new people who didn’t know me and my past. I thought I could be a bit more comfortable with the skin if people didn’t know my healthy skin.

In Toronto, there were a lot of transitions happened for me. Even though I still think I would never live in the east side of the county, I have met the most beautiful inspirational people in my life.

Without them, I couldn’t go through the ups and downs of my healing. I’m not gonna lie that those ups and downs were super hard for me. But now I know that my body had to go through this in order to get better and the universe sent me those people to help me go through it.

Only one time, please let me use this…

About a couple of months after moving to TO, I had an important event back in my home. My brother was getting married and I was to attend. Because my family didn’t know what I was going through, how my skin looks like, I thought I didn’t want them to worry.

My parents thought I had a healthy skin the whole time as an adult. Since I was never be like a kid who talks things to parents, I just decided to use the cortisone cream before going to see them. So I could have a healthy skin while I was there.

Me before the wedding in Japan 2012

Here is the picture in March (2012) after I “fixed” my skin. I was truly happy to have my “healthy” skin back again, even though I knew it was fake. I could expose my skin and wear some make up on again!

Be strong and start healing…

Despite of my joy having that smooth skin again, I knew I really needed to commit to heal. As soon as I came back to TO from Japan, I threw away the last portion of the cortisone cream. There were no way I could go to the walk in clinic to ask for the prescription again.

I was still drinking some alcohol and had some social life, meeting new people as I somehow kept my fixed skin since Japan. It was till the next winter. I started to have some flare ups again. Because of the new work environment, I enjoyed eating foods that I eliminated in BC such as gluten, dairy, soy and eggs with new co-workers.

New commitment

While I was still figuring out what I could eat and what not besides eating 100% organic, one thing I thought I should do was to quit alcohol. It was already easier for me to do so as I wasn’t really drinking much by then.

It was the last glass of vodka martini at a NYE party in TO. From 2013 January 1st, I am ever sober.  You can’t really stress the liver as it’s the most important organ when it comes to healing the skin.                        I also quit coffee as I started to become thirsty more as I drink it. I’d rather be hydrated than the taste of it.

As I was taking a course in IHN Mississauga for a certification of Iridology, I learned about “coffee enema” to help the body detox. Around the same time, I added a castor oil pack as a daily regime.

I have to tell you that those are a quite commitment. My regime at night was to do the coffee enema at least twice daily and castor oil pack 5 days a week.

Diet v.s. skin?

When I moved to TO, I started going to a rock climbing gym myself. Here, I met couple of my best friends for life. One of them is a girl, Anya who was a hard core vegan for 7years then, and was a holistic veterinarian. She was an out of ordinary girl whom I can’t say enough about. We hit off right away and talked a lot about deeper heavy stuff. I told her what I had been going through and what I had been trying out in terms of diet and supplements.

But one day, she said to me…

“Fumi, have you ever thought looking into more emotional traumas?”                                                                   ” You have tried almost everything but if things are not getting better… you may need to solve some emotional stuff.”

I mean… I knew the concept of being “holistic”, being a “whole”. We see us as a whole… mind, body and spirit. But I only understood it in my brain, not in my heart.

Emotions v.s. skin?

After about a year living in TO, I met someone who I liked to get to know more. He was really lovely and was interested in the healthy living and eating healthy.

Because his work schedule was completely the opposite, I could keep my daily regime for healing. When he called me on his break and asked me what I did in the evening, my answer was the same.

Coffee enema and castor oil pack!!

Me few years back was living to be loved by someone I loved. But then, I was doing something for myself… to heal.

Even though we only dated like a couple of months, there were interesting things happened to me. While we were dating, my skin started to get worse again. One day, he wanted to come over after work but I said I didn’t want to see him because my skin was so red and itchy. I was embarrassed to be seen by anyone. I insisted that we wouldn’t see that night. But he came over anyway. And as soon as he come to my room, he said to me..

You look beautiful.”

“I don’t get why you think that you weren’t.”

I don’t remember I kicked him out of the room after that or let him stay. But I remember I was really really angry and hated myself… my skin. Despite of what he told me… I looked beautiful. And then, of course I scratched my skin that night and the next day, some part of my skin was bleeding.

During this relationship, Anya asked me why I was still with him because I was scratching my skin every time he comes over. There were always some anger coming out from me and as a result, I scratched till I bled.

I didn’t know why I was angry while I was with him. But I know the anger was causing more irritation in my skin. And for sure the anger was waiting for the chance to be released from my body for years.

 

Read my third step here.

Stages to become a whole ~ my first step~

Spirit for Healing

 

To be quite honest with you, I have been going through A LOT! If I think of all that, they are all relevant, meaning… all comes back to lack of “self-love”. But while going through all, my focus was how to get rid of all the pain psychologically and physically.

While I wasn’t sure how, I wasn’t also ready for the change till I was. I’m gonna talk about stages at which I peeled my thick “onion skin” little by little.

I talk about this “onion skin” quite a lot.  We as a raw human being, we are so fragile to live without any protections around us. When someone judges you, when someone hurts you, when someone lies to you, when someone betrays you, when someone gets angry with you, when someone dies, etc… we start creating a guard (onion skin) to protect ourselves. When we don’t peel it off (process the emotions), we keep creating the new ones around us. The older they get, the harder they become to peel off.

We all have different steps to go through as our body knows which one is the most important to work first, and next at the time. (This is one of my favourite things about our body!!!) And the first one is always the hardest to go through and could be the thickest skin to peel off.

It takes time and patience.

First Stage…

In 2011, I started going to school to become a certified nutritional practitioner (CNP) in Vancouver, BC. I first had no idea what “holistic nutrition” meant. After a half year passed, the contents of the each course got deeper, especially when we learned about “Chakra”, the energy centre in the body.

Around that time, I freaked out about what I had been doing to my body. Especially, this made me promise myself to quit cortisone cream forever and decided to cleanse my body.

New commitment

I started eating 100% organic. Luckily, because of the school, I didn’t really drink alcohol but still having late nights even though healing requires a lot of sleep which I couldn’t have really.  After couple of weeks into the cleansing program, I started having a huge flare up from head to toe. I asked around the instructors in school what I could do for that. One recommended to take fish oil, and the other recommended to stop whatever I was doing. She said I may have been reacting to some ingredients I was talking for cleansing.

Emotional break down

Since the flare up which happened during the summer, I couldn’t stand being in public as my face had red patches. Because my whole body was red and itchy, I wore hoodie and jeans in summer to hide my body. And because I was embarrassed and depressed, pretty much what I did was minimal, went to school and came home or went to work and came home. This was like for months.

What have I tried during the time of first flare up?

Since I was committed not to rely on cortisone cream anymore, I went to see an acupuncturist who someone told me was healing skin diseases. She gave me a salve made of Chinese herbs. One day, someone told me to use coconut oil.

Well, guess what?

It wasn’t so simple!!!

When it comes to skin problems, we traditionally think we need some cream to fix it. Let me tell you that I have tried billions of creams on the market! None of it helped to clear up the skin in couple of days like some say.

What was I eating?

I eliminated dairy, eggs, and gluten from my diet around this time. And ate more raw vegetables with simple apple cider vinegar with honey dressing. And this happened.

One morning, I was eating a huge salad with nuts and seeds like usual. My eye lids started to swell. I freaked out so much and luckily I had an allergy test kit that my school gave us sometime. I pricked my finger and sent it to the lab.

The result showed me I was allergic to every single item on the list even green vegetables.

Leaky gut => Heal the gut!

Easier said than done. As a baby nutritionist still then, all I did was to take fish oil and probiotics and eliminated all the major allergens like eggs, dairy, wheat and soy. I was eating raw vegetables less.

After almost 6 months into the journey, my skin was slightly better. I decided to move to the east side of Canada after graduating school in 2012.

Read my second step here.