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addictions

What is “Self-Love”?

Educational Information, Healing Procedure, Make Choices, Spirit for Healing

 

I was asked one day.

What does self-love mean?

Do you think I have known what self-love is before starting my healing journey?

NO.

I believe this is something you learn as you experience certain events in life and be willing to heal from those events emotionally and physically. I’m sorry but I don’t believe people lightly say “I love myself.”. Because that’s not what I’m not talking about.

Abusing is NOT self-love.

My abusing started when I stopped looking after my body.

I intentionally held bowel movement as I was ashamed to go to the toilet when I was like 7. Then started skipping meals or stopped eating “food” to lose weight. Which led to the anorexic behavior for about 6 years. The reason for the weight loss was that a boy in my class told me that I was chubby. Around the same time, my mother also told me that I was chubby. Since I was sort of competitive in nature, I promised myself to get skinny.

While I kept losing my weight, I also had an extreme pressure from my mother regarding the school work. I was probably a decent student in elementary school but the pressure was put before I enrolled mid school. This pressure gave me stomach pains every morning. I remember taking painkiller pills every day for the next several months until I collapsed in the middle of the class.

Apparently, I almost had a hole in my stomach. Who knows if that was from the pills or the stress.

In the meantime, I have introduced to laxatives from a senior student in school when I was 13 for my constipation. Luckily, my family wasn’t big on any medications unless it’s an emergency. So when I discovered the pills that helped my bowel movement, I was hooked. And addicted.

The daily dose of the laxative was two. How much I took daily was 6. It also helped me keep losing weight. This laxative addiction lasted another 10 years from then.

When I became a high school girl, my eating habit started to rebound. I binge ate pizza, cookies, and other snacks. My mother was happy I started eating no matter what I was eating. I tried to keep my weight just below 100 lbs (my height was 5’6″) with laxatives until I moved away from my parents’.

I started living alone in Tokyo while I was in college. Here I started having serious bulimic behavior. It was very tough times as I had never been able to tell anyone about my “secret”, even my boyfriend whom I was in a serious relationship with.

Tokyo is such a big city where I could easily abuse my body, such as lack of sleep, heavy alcohol intake, binge eating, and very lonely in the heart.

Let me remind you that none of above is ever “self-love”. I abused my body both physically and emotionally. Especially, I remember I cried every time I was trying to throw up in the toilet which often wasn’t an easy procedure.

And HATED me.

I hated myself not knowing when this was going to end. I hated myself not to be able to control my eating attitude. I hated myself hiding “true self” from my partner I loved. I hated myself acting happy in public and being a mess when I was alone.

On the contrary…

I’d like to think of myself I’m a much more self-loving girl now. Sure, the environment is different and I am older. I have learned what I was supposed to along the way. “Wholistic Healing Arts” – body, mind, and spirit. And I am still learning every single day.

Physically Self-loving

I sleep (at least trying to intentionally, if not.) 8 hours a day. I eat 100% organic including plenty of vegetables and occasionally fish and organ meats that nourish my body. I also quit alcohol in 2011 when I decided to commit to my healing. I excuse myself to go to a toilet whenever I need. I stopped weighing in 2005 (I have weighed once in 2009 and was the last time I did so.) but don’t feel pity about my body. I exercise lightly but daily. I enjoy the detox procedures such as Epsom salt bath, castor oil packs, vaginal steam, and coffee enema to help my body regenerate.

Mentally Self-loving

I learned to forgive myself and others in any situations. I learned to understand the unique human being. I learned to set my own boundary. I learned my limitations. I learned that every emotion (anger, sadness, grief, fear, etc) had its own right to be felt. I learned to let myself express how I feel. I learned to say no. I feel comfortable being self-reserved. I learned to let go of toxic relationships. I don’t waste my time with people engage in drama. I laugh every possible moment.

Spiritually Self-loving

I practice 1000 gratitude a day (I haven’t reached 1000 yet, I am trying every day!). I learned the relationship between female hormonal cycle and intuition, which helped me to understand when I would be more intuitive and when I would be more logic. I always ask “Why” to whatever happens in life which will let me become more aware of signs from the universe. I listen to my heart. I say thank you in every possible moment.

Other Self-loving

I don’t try to become someone whom I am not. This is a tough one from time to time, however. We meet people who are like-minded in some topics and completely opposite in other topics. Can we be still close to those people?

The answer is YES. All we have to do is to accept who they are. We don’t need to be with them 24/7. We hang out when we are talking about something in common. You don’t need to project yourself to like everything they do.

I know that I’m not for everyone. What I believe in life is not for everyone. How I see life isn’t for everyone. What works for me isn’t for everyone. Sure. If a lot of people show up in my life and they are all like-minded people, that’s great. But that’s not really my goal for self-love. Self-love here is to be okay with who you are, no matter how many people will become your people. What’s important is that you keep loving yourself despite the change “outside” you.

 

 

What is Adrenal Fatigue?

Educational Information, Healing Procedure

 

Hypoadrenia and Adrenal Fatigue

“hypo” (lower) and adrenia (related to the adrenals) is a lowered adrenal activity causing a decrease in the output of adrenal hormones, particularly the steroid hormone called cortisol. Too much physical, psychological,  and/or environmental stress can deplete the function of your adrenals.

This hypoadrenia can range in severity. The extreme low end of hypoadrenia is called Addison’s disease which can involve actual structural and physiological damage to the adrenal glands and is life threatening if not treated.

On the other hand, conditions towards almost normal end of hypoadrenia on the spectrum have many names such as non-Addison’s, sub-clinical hypoadrenia, neurasthenia, adrenal neurasthenia, adrenal apathy, and adrenal fatigue.

They are more commonly known as adrenal fatigue as it describes the chief symptom of hypoadrenia.

In spite of millions of people in the U.S and around the world affected by adrenal fatigue, it is not usually recognized by modern medicine nor be considered a medical emergency. Nevertheless, every organ and system in the body is more profoundly affected by the reduction of adrenal function. Changes occur in body’s metabolism (slows down), electrolyte balance, sex drive, and even body shape. our body does its best to to compensate for under-functioning adrenal glands.

Adrenal fatigue s a collection of signs and symptoms. It is not readily identifiable entity like acne or a growth on the skin. People with adrenal fatigue often look and act relatively normal as they may not have any obvious signs of physical illness. Yet, they know that they are not well and live with “gray” feelings. They often use coffee and/or other stimulants to get going in the morning and throughout the day.

Conditions related to Adrenal Fatigue

  • Abnormal blood sugar levels (Hypoglycemia)
  • Alcoholism
  • Arthritis
  • Asthma
  • Autoimmune Disorders
  • Constipation
  • Cravings for salty or sugary foods, alcohol, caffeine, energy drink
  • Depression
  • Fibromyalgia
  • Frequent Allergies
  • Frequent Colds
  • Frequent Respiratory Infections
  • Increased difficulty during menopause
  • Increased Fears, Anxiety, and Depression
  • Insomnia
  • Intense Mood swings
  • Low energy
  • Low sex drive
  • Premenstrual Tension
  • Thyroid disorder
  • more

Factors affect Adrenal Fatigue

Whether in a mild or severe form, adrenal fatigue is usually caused by some form of stress. Our body doesn’t differentiate a type of stress. Every kind of stress, physical, emotional, psychological, environmental (external), infectious (internal), or a combination of these is responded the same by our adrenals.

While stress can be caused by significant events such as an automobile accident, or the death of a loved one, the lower grade (less intense) stress such as pressure at the workplace, an unhappy relationships, environmental toxins, poor diet, occasional financial crisis, etc. could take its toll. Especially, if occurs simultaneously, accumulate or become chronic, and adrenals have no opportunity to fully recover, adrenal fatigue is usually the result.

Anyone can experience Adrenal Fatigue

While people from every culture and every age can suffer from adrenal fatigue, each person has a different capacity to handle the total stress load, and the capacity of each person varies over time and events.

One person may handle and overcome a stress quite easily and be ready for more, but another person, or that same person at a different situation, may find the same stress overwhelming and impossible to bear. It is important to understand that the onset and continuation of adrenal fatigue is reflected by great individual variation.

Your Job may be a Factor

Some professions are harder on the adrenal glands than others such as physicians, the police force, middle executives, secretaries, and teachers. cabin attendants, actors and actresses, etc. They often sacrifice their sleeping hours, have intensive work load, and requires high responsibility. They commonly have other health problems (high cholesterol, insulin resistance, hypertension, obesity, etc.), as the adrenals are less responsive after burning out of cortisol.

Components of Lifestyle Leading to Adrenal Fatigue

  • Lack of sleep
  • poor food choices
  • Using food and drinks as stimulants when tired
  • Staying up late even though exhausted
  • Constantly driving yourself
  • Trying to be perfect
  • Feeling stuck
  • Lack of enjoyable and rejuvenating activities

Lifestyle Leading to Adrenal Fatigue

  • University student
  • Mother with two or more children with little support from family or friends
  • Single parent
  • Unhappy marriage
  • Extremely unhappy and stressful work conditions
  • Drug or alcohol abuser
  • Alternating shift work that requires sleep pattern to be frequently adjusted
  • Little play little recharging time

Life Events Leading to Adrenal Fatigue

  • Pressure or frequent crises at work and/or home
  • Severe emotional traumas that are unresolved
  • Death of a close friend or family member
  • Major surgery with incomplete recovery
  • Prolonged or repeated respiratory infections
  • Serious burns (include sunburn)
  • Head trauma
  • Loss of stable job
  • Sudden change in financial status
  • Relocation without support
  • Repeated or overwhelming chemical exposure including drugs and alcohol abuse

Genetics

We can never forget to consider the weaknesses on adrenal glands from birth on, besides those factors of lifestyle and life events.

Children born to mothers with adrenal fatigue and children experience severe stress in the womb typically have lower adrenal function. For this reason, they have less capacity to deal with stress in their own lives and more prone to adrenal fatigue throughout their lives.

Do I Have Adrenal Fatigue?

If you are experiencing the lifestyle that I listed above, and some conditions seem familiar to you, go click on “questionnaire” to assess your level of adrenal fatigue.

 

Take => Questionnaire for Adrenal Fatigue

 

Read “Nutritional Supplements for Adrenal Fatigue“.

 


Reference:

James L. Wilson, N.D., D.C. PhD. “Adrenal Fatigue The 21st Century Stress Syndrome”