Browsing Tag

commitment

The Grass is Always Greener on The Otherside?

Healing Procedure May 22, 2022

Whether we acknowledge and take a step to our health concerns, and symptoms or not, we think what other people are going through is much easier than what we are going through.

Well, when I was having terrible flare-ups on my whole body, I thought I was the first person that people would feel sorry for among others. Some told me that they had been having chronic back pain, joint pain, pains during menstruation, IBS, etc. But I didn’t think it was as terrible as the problem is on the skin where other people could see in the eyes.

We are all very unique individuals. What we are healing from has no hierarchy.

While I have never had pains during menstruation, some girls can’t even get out of bed when it happens. While I have never experienced arthritis, some expressed to me that the pain is so unbearable that they could be chronically depressed. But pains are invisible. We don’t know how hard it is what they are going through until we experience the degree of the pain.

I have been healing from chronic eczema and Topical Steroid Withdrawal (TSW for short). My day-to-day life was mostly downs not so many ups because it was my face and neck where I couldn’t really hide with clothes like other parts of the body. People would ask me if I had an allergic reaction to some foods. People would offer me to use coconut oil, shea butter, or other oils to moisturize the skin where I knew the problem wasn’t the “skin” itself.  I was embarrassed about how I looked. I wished it wasn’t my face.

In 2013, I started wearing eyeglasses (I have been wearing contacts in public since grade 6) so that I could at least hide a tiny part of my face. And looking in a mirror became my obsession to look for my “flaws” and “imperfection” instead of telling myself “I love you”. So of course, I never wanted to be social either. I started to hide from everybody.

Fortunately or unfortunately, I didn’t mind spending time alone at all, which led me to feel depressed for a really long time.

Just before the end of the summer in 2013, a good friend of mine came back from Brazil. She told me all about her healing journey there in Abadiania. That’s when I learned about John of God, famous for healing people with chronic degenerative diseases. (ADDITIONAL NOTE: Today when I’m writing this blog, he has been arrested for numerous accusations of sex abuse. I didn’t know back then about what was going on and his crimes in the Casa.)

Her story was more than enough to convince me to book flights to visit him after 10 mins of chat. I got return tickets to Abadiania for December that night.

I was so looking forward to clearing my skin while I was there for two weeks and looking “healthy” again but this time not faking it with a cortisone cream.

Did it happen?

The answer is no.

The symptoms got worse when I arrived. My friend told me it was common. But my skin was unbearably itchy so much so that I couldn’t stay still day and night. While everybody visited for their own healing was hanging out in the “Love Bubble”, I stayed inside all day hiding out from people.

A couple of things I tried meanwhile were an in-person session on a crystal bed about 3 days a week for chakra balancing and giving prayers at the casa.

About a week in, I was finally able to get to see John of God after waiting in line for a couple of hours. There was only a little time he could spend with each person and for me, his word was not anything I wanted to hear – “You should come back here three more times. Then you will heal.”

I was disappointed big time.

My anger was at its peak as my skin was red and scally getting worse despite the treatments on the crystal bed, not sleeping at all because of the itch, and feeling lonely and helpless.

Then, the year turned 2014. I heard people counting the time to zero, then screaming, and singing, the fireworks had gone off and celebrating all night.

Me?

I was in bed alone asking the universe to free my spirit from my body.

I lost count of how many times I wished my health challenges were not on my skin and rather inside of the body where they are invisible.

People in the “Love Bubble” in Abadiania looked all healthy no matter how serious their health challenges could be, it didn’t matter to me. When your inside is so rotten by toxicity both emotionally and physically, you envy others and you feel you are the worst victim of life.

Yes, that was me.

What was my takeaway from this trip?

It was “SELF-LOVE”. I got this message from spirits while I was writing a note (“I want healthy skin.”) for the community prayer at the casa. I couldn’t understand it then and for a while after. The message was too simple to connect the dot necessary to heal my skin.

But it was “SELF-LOVE” that I needed to explore deeper in order to get to know ME more. It turns out that my skin healing journey was much bigger than just eczema or TSW, but also the journey to be able to see the grass on my side is just as green as the other side and it’s up to me whether to see the beauty in my grass or not.

When our eyes and minds are on what’s missing or imperfection in us, we are never able to appreciate how authentic we are. When we overlook the authenticity in us, it becomes harder to align with our hearts where we (true selves) can manifest and reflect the outside world from within.

 

Can you feel your imperfection is your authenticity?

Can you see what’s making you feel resented about your body is actually authentic?

 

“Look up. Because you are beautiful.”

Practice for mindful traveling

Make Choices, Spirit for Healing April 6, 2018

 

When it comes to commitment to the healing, traveling is the best or the worst enemy you can fall for. A lot of my clients are very inspired and commit to spending a good amount of time for daily self-care after having a session with me. But when they go on a vacation or business trip, this is when they stop following their daily regimen.

What can you do?

Pack your own snacks before flying

Make sure you preplan and pick up something to bring with you before leaving home so that you can snack on while you are at the airport. You may have to spend up to two hours waiting for your plane to takes off.

It is very hard to find something that doesn’t break your healthy eating habit.

Booster juice? Starbucks smoothie? Well, could be a better choice than fries, potato chips, muffins, etc. But what’s even better? You prepare your own food that you know there are no chemicals or additives in it.

Packing your own lunch box is a great idea, or chop vegetable sticks (celery, cucumber, broccoli, etc), just grab one or two apples, and mixed nuts and seeds (fat) can make you feel full for a while.

Mindful traveling starts from the day you started getting ready for the mindful traveling happen. Anything is possible as long as you really want to keep you on track.

Drink plenty of water

When I had my first trip after I made my commitment to my healthy eating, I didn’t know whether I could carry on my own food that I bought. So I had never had my own snacks to fly with. I never really wanted to buy something from the airport either. All I did was to drink plenty of water.

As much as I believe in nutrition from whole foods, I also think it’s healthy to fast for a half day by drinking just clean water. By clean water, I mean a bottled “spring water”. Although I’m a no supporter of plastic bottles, when we are traveling, we got to give up certain things that we have no control over.

Show your gratitude. This is mindful traveling.

Search for local stores and restaurants

When I go traveling, one of my favorite things to do is to search for local organic restaurants, health food stores, and kombucha brewers. I love to find different products they sell than where I live. Since the “health” is my passion, my first priority is to eat healthy no matter where I am. Plus, I will be spending my money on local artisans when I’m eating a restaurant uses locally grown organic produces.

Once you find the stores and restaurants with where you can stay with your healthy eating habit, you feel like you are actually not traveling.

Once I was in the UK, I had a hard time finding one healthy food store around the hotel. I had a choice eating out in a non-organic restaurant. I gave my prayer over the plate and appreciated the food that I could eat. I believe what’s important is to accept and appreciate what comes to me. Disappointment and anger won’t help us digest any food that we put in our mouth.

Take time for yourself

Whether you are traveling on your own or with somebody else, it’s easy to lose track of time. Staying up late and waking up early can exhaust you before coming home. Take your time at least 10 mins daily to connect with your self. Set your mind and body peaceful.

Even though you might not be able to perform some self-care regimen that you do at home, you can easily get back on track if you don’t lose completely.

Have fun

While a lot of people fell behind of their daily regime, some want to stick to their daily habit while they go on traveling. They don’t want to forget the multiple supplements they are taking every day so that they are stressed whether they packed enough amount, and worry about the food they might or might not be able to eat during the trip.

We all adapt ourselves in a different environment. The important thing is to be easy when our environment changes. If you forget to take supplements, then forget it. You can’t stress about it like the end of the world.

As I mentioned above already, you will do your best to stay on track. And again, it’s possible. But if you fail, you may or may not have your health challenges back. It’s a learning process.

You can’t live based on your fear.

So enjoy while you are away.

If you lost it, you challenge yourself the next time to stay on track a bit longer.

What is “Self-Love”?

Educational Information, Healing Procedure, Make Choices, Spirit for Healing March 23, 2018

I was asked one day.

What does self-love mean?

Do you think I have known what self-love is before starting my healing journey?

NO.

I believe this is something you learn as you experience certain events in life and be willing to heal from those events emotionally and physically. I’m sorry but I don’t believe people lightly say “I love myself.”. Because that’s not what I’m not talking about.

Abusing is NOT self-love.

My abusing started when I stopped looking after my body.

I intentionally held bowel movement as I was ashamed to go to the toilet when I was like 7. Then started skipping meals or stopped eating “food” to lose weight. Which led to the anorexic behavior for about 6 years. The reason for the weight loss was that a boy in my class told me that I was chubby. Around the same time, my mother also told me that I was chubby. Since I was sort of competitive in nature, I promised myself to get skinny.

While I kept losing my weight, I also had an extreme pressure from my mother regarding the school work. I was probably a decent student in elementary school but the pressure was put before I enrolled mid school. This pressure gave me stomach pains every morning. I remember taking painkiller pills every day for the next several months until I collapsed in the middle of the class.

Apparently, I almost had a hole in my stomach. Who knows if that was from the pills or the stress.

In the meantime, I have introduced to laxatives from a senior student in school when I was 13 for my constipation. Luckily, my family wasn’t big on any medications unless it’s an emergency. So when I discovered the pills that helped my bowel movement, I was hooked. And addicted.

The daily dose of the laxative was two. How much I took daily was 6. It also helped me keep losing weight. This laxative addiction lasted another 10 years from then.

When I became a high school girl, my eating habit started to rebound. I binge ate pizza, cookies, and other snacks. My mother was happy I started eating no matter what I was eating. I tried to keep my weight just below 100 lbs (my height was 5’6″) with laxatives until I moved away from my parents’.

I started living alone in Tokyo while I was in college. Here I started having serious bulimic behavior. It was very tough times as I had never been able to tell anyone about my “secret”, even my boyfriend whom I was in a serious relationship with.

Tokyo is such a big city where I could easily abuse my body, such as lack of sleep, heavy alcohol intake, binge eating, and very lonely in the heart.

Let me remind you that none of above is ever “self-love”. I abused my body both physically and emotionally. Especially, I remember I cried every time I was trying to throw up in the toilet which often wasn’t an easy procedure.

And HATED me.

I hated myself not knowing when this was going to end. I hated myself not to be able to control my eating attitude. I hated myself hiding “true self” from my partner I loved. I hated myself acting happy in public and being a mess when I was alone.

On the contrary…

I’d like to think of myself I’m a much more self-loving girl now. Sure, the environment is different and I am older. I have learned what I was supposed to along the way. “Wholistic Healing Arts” – body, mind, and spirit. And I am still learning every single day.

Physically Self-loving

I sleep (at least trying to intentionally, if not.) 8 hours a day. I eat 100% organic including plenty of vegetables and occasionally fish and organ meats that nourish my body. I also quit alcohol in 2011 when I decided to commit to my healing. I excuse myself to go to a toilet whenever I need. I stopped weighing in 2005 (I have weighed once in 2009 and was the last time I did so.) but don’t feel pity about my body. I exercise lightly but daily. I enjoy the detox procedures such as Epsom salt bath, castor oil packs, vaginal steam, and coffee enema to help my body regenerate.

Mentally Self-loving

I learned to forgive myself and others in any situations. I learned to understand the unique human being. I learned to set my own boundary. I learned my limitations. I learned that every emotion (anger, sadness, grief, fear, etc) had its own right to be felt. I learned to let myself express how I feel. I learned to say no. I feel comfortable being self-reserved. I learned to let go of toxic relationships. I don’t waste my time with people engage in drama. I laugh every possible moment.

Spiritually Self-loving

I practice 1000 gratitude a day (I haven’t reached 1000 yet, I am trying every day!). I learned the relationship between female hormonal cycle and intuition, which helped me to understand when I would be more intuitive and when I would be more logic. I always ask “Why” to whatever happens in life which will let me become more aware of signs from the universe. I listen to my heart. I say thank you in every possible moment.

Other Self-loving

I don’t try to become someone whom I am not. This is a tough one from time to time, however. We meet people who are like-minded in some topics and completely opposite in other topics. Can we be still close to those people?

The answer is YES. All we have to do is to accept who they are. We don’t need to be with them 24/7. We hang out when we are talking about something in common. You don’t need to project yourself to like everything they do.

I know that I’m not for everyone. What I believe in life is not for everyone. How I see life isn’t for everyone. What works for me isn’t for everyone. Sure. If a lot of people show up in my life and they are all like-minded people, that’s great. But that’s not really my goal for self-love. Self-love here is to be okay with who you are, no matter how many people will become your people. What’s important is that you keep loving yourself despite the change “outside” you.

How bad you want your health back?

Make Choices, Spirit for Healing October 21, 2017

 

Among those who came to see me for their health conditions, I would say probably less than 20 % was ready to make their lifestyle and dietary changes. And I’m not complaining nor trying to change them.

Their priority is the main reason. I would say they are not ready to make changes because of it.

I was lucky enough to have been able to say, “Sorry, I have to be alone for my healing. I can’t see you while I am going through ups and downs. I really need to be focusing on myself.”, when I was just about to enter the most difficult time for healing. I knew my priority. I knew what was the most important matter for me to focus. So I chose me over a very loving man. He understood and gave me a huge respect for my decision. He understood how bad I wanted to heal. He understood how painful it was for me to see him with the red scaly inflamed itchy skin all over my body.

But not a lot of people can make a decision like I did. Some are in a long relationship so that they are living together for many years. Some have the family members who don’t understand holistic healing arts what so ever. Some are too scared to change diet which they grew up on. Even though they are super inspired by healing their conditions without medications but with diet, the nutritions.

I had a Japanese client who was married to a man who never had an interest in healthy eating. But she sought for my professional advice for her allergies. I have suggested the food combining to begin with and all other things. First thing that she worried was her husband. She asked me how she could convince him to understand what she was just about to do. And her second concern was her social life, eating out with her friends.

Well, first of all. We have to explain the reason profoundly why you will be changing how you eat if you are doing the food combining, for example. Give them the reason or two in order for them to understand how badly you want your health back. And most of people who love you, who care for you your health, they will understand you and be supportive for your decision.

I have to say, however, some people say things oppose to your decision because they don’t want you to get what you want. Simply, this could be because they are jealous of you who are strong enough to try to achieve your goal. Or in some cases, especially your parents, they worry no matter what.

One of my mentors once told us about his client. He was obese and had multiple disorders but his background was Italian. He grew up in a family eats greasy pasta, pizza, and other cheesy food. But since he started working with my mentor, he lost 45 lbs (which was still normal weight range) and some symptoms disappeared after couple of months. When his parents saw him leaner, they said that he was too skinny!

Family and friends are the most challenging people that you may have to convince. But if you try to take time to explain sincerely with passion, they will for sure understand you and support you. I believe this will happen to your spouse and children. More over, they could benefit from the dietary change you make!

Social life could be one of obstacles to make changes in your life. But I think it is totally up to you. I would certainly suggest to prepare your own food as much as you could in order to avoid additives, potential toxins, and excess sugar. And if you are 100% committed to your healing, you will do so. However, I understand it will be very difficult to cut every single social gathering all together. If you can have some snack before the gathering at home, you may not need to eat at the party. Whether your food is randomly prepared or made to order, be wise to choose what you eat. Social life with people who aren’t eating as strict as you are could be hard at the beginning but I found it will become easier once you familiarize yourself what/what not to eat or the proper food combining. It doesn’t matter whether people around you know your dietary restrictions or not.

Once your digestion, conditions, or symptoms get better, you should be able to eat without restrictions. For some, they may have the weaknesses in the system so that they won’t be able to eat like before. They have to stick to the certain protocol. Some prefer to stay with the protocol because it feels good.

When conditions and symptoms disappear, we tend to go back to an old habit. Because the pain, discomfort, and all other challenges with the conditions we had will disappear too. And we forget how it was like. But we have to remember what brought you the health challenges in the first place. If we keep doing the same thing dragged you down to the point you had to struggle for your health, it will get us again.

If your body fails you, where will you live?

Are supplements necessary?

Healing Procedure October 15, 2017

 

When I started my healing and cleansing protocol which I had to become an expert on my own, I wasn’t a supplement person. I had never taken pills (common cold pills, birth control pills, nor any medications!) before. I wasn’t feeling very convinced to take any until I started getting flare ups from my very first detox program.

I bought probiotic and fish oil (high in EPA). Those bottles cost more than $100 together. And the more I learnt about supplements in school, the more I become obsessed with new supplements I thought I should try to help heal.

I bought so many kinds of supplement I thought they would help me including homeopathic remedies. I was lucky or not, worked in the health food store where I had opportunities to take educational courses from supplement companies then. So wherever I hear about products that could help heal the skin then I had to try.

The truth is… I still have so many bottles, whether they are already open or not, in my drawer from years ago (2013~). Some of them looked very stale I had to get rid of them after a couple of years.

I have done many trials and errors along the way. It cost me a fortune to buy all those supplements. But I was 100% committed to get better. I economized on clothes and entertainments. I had rather spend all of my earnings on organic groceries and supplements. So I did.

While I was working in the health food store, almost 90% of the people needed help to find the supplements for their health conditions, they never asked me how to eat, what foods are nutritious. This is very tricky because people nowadays are more into “natural” healing instead of medications. But still, they want a “quick fix” which they refer to supplements, the pills. And that won’t give them what they want.

I wanted to become a nutritionist because I believe in nutritions that help heal us. Our health goes downhill when our diet doesn’t feed our body and/or too much toxicity the our body can’t get out of our system because of malnutrition. Our body needs vitamins, minerals, and fat (cholesterol) for enzymatic activities and regeneration.

The GAPs diet recommends minimal of supplements. And I strongly agree with it. It is super time consuming and hard to find the best quality supplements. When I talk about supplements, I’m not talking about supplements you get from Costco or dollar stores. They won’t do any good rather do harm to your body.

Because it was my responsibility to recommend the best quality supplements to customers in the store, I did a lot of research on supplement companies and talked to rep which I was very careful that I wouldn’t be biased by their information. I spent a lot of my own time to research the additives and such. And this helped me to pick supplements for myself too.

If you were to decide to take supplements, please do your own research. Call the company to know how they manufacture their products, the source of the products (a lot of vitamins are made out of corn. Ask them where it’s coming from), and safety (heavy metal contamination, etc). Companies want to show you the studies and researches done, either by their own company or general information from studies done by pharmaceuticals, that their products are effective to certain health conditions. And that’s very appealing. But what’s important is your body assimilates the nutrients from the supplement without any harm.

While I don’t completely disagree to take supplements, there are risks of what you may be getting into your body unless you know how and where they are coming from.

It is like going out for food. You don’t know what could be in the food you were about to eat unless you make it yourself.

I have become a practitioner educates my clients how to get nutrients from real foods. I still suggest some supplements such as probiotic, fish/cod liver oil, chlorella, and some liver herbs. But nutrients are more bioavailable for our body when they are coming from the right source. Supplements are nutrients that are isolated mostly from corn. Those isolated forms won’t be recognized by the body as easy as food in order to be assimilated. If nutrients from supplements weren’t absorbed by the body, it will be excreted as urine.

I think spending your precious money on organic local foods makes more sense than wasting it to make expensive urine.

 

Organic Local Farmers